It's been awhile...

Oh Hey! Hi! 👋How's it going y'all? I hope this finds you blessed and healthy. It's been almost 10 years for me on this. Soooooo much has happened since I last blogged. Like so so so much. I have no clue where to begin. So I'll start light and reintroduce myself. I am Megan. I am married to an amazing, hardworking man. We have 2 kids, Brody and Piper. I talked about them all in previous blogs. And by previous I mean almost 10 years lol. Brody is now 13, Piper 11 and Clint is still handsome.  Here is a picture of my precious family. 

I also talked in previous posts about us moving to the cattle ranch. Well.... WE DID IT! Like 6 years ago 🤣 So so much has happened in those 6 years. A lifetime of events it feels like. We've had so many heart breaks, so much loss but also so many blessings. I will get to most of that soon. For now I'll leave you with one of my favorite pictures of our home. The best snow! ❄

I may be starting a new journey in life, even it's just blogging, I hope you'll come along. We can travel to the past of all the things you may have missed, the present and dream about the future together ❤

What doesn't kill us makes us Stronger

My heart has been so overjoyed the last few weeks.. I finally feel, complete! For 2 years I have been struggling... Struggling to connect with this perfect beautiful little mini me.. My sweet Piper. For those of you who know me know some of the events of the past 2 years. But I've never truly opened up about my feelings.. I've been in my own personal hell... A darkness I thought was never possible for a mom to be in.. It was such a lonely place.... I'd like to tell my story for the other moms that have or are experiencing this so here goes!
Piper was born Aug 30th 2010... After a horrific pregnancy filled with constant sickness, early labor, many hospital trips and 10 weeks of bed rest she arrived 3 weeks early... It was such a bittersweet day! All 5 pounds 10oz of Piper Kay Lin
were perfect.. She was so tiny so beautiful.. I had my baby girl! My partner in crime. My fashionista in the making, my blonde haired blued eyed mini me! My family was complete... Even though small she was seemingly healthy and we were soon home.. The first 3 weeks home were amazing... She slept good, ate good and was so sweet.. Then our nightmare started.. The crying, the throwing up, the pain and up all nights.. I couldn't for the life of me figure out what was happening.. At first we were told colic.. So we tried the colic remedies.. Nothing worked.. Then she refused to eat.. After 2 doctors we were told she had Acid Reflux.. Ugh, those words make me sick! After hearing her esophagus was basically eroding , I stopped breast feeding.. Formula after formula we finally found something that "helped".. And I use that word loosely! The symptoms were still there just simmered down a bit. Then Prevacid was added.. Try giving a 3 month old, by this point, a broken capsule of medicine.. Not easy and wasn't very effective.. So until she could eat cereal it was just deal with it mode.. I was a zombie, literally.. I went days without sleep.. Without silence. It was hell... For us all.. There were times I thought "why is she doing this?" And then guilt for thinking that.. It was a vicious cycle.. Up all night, cry for us both, throw up, sleep an hour, up all day and then start again.. One night she threw up all over her bed and when I picked her up then all over me.. Clint came in and started cleaning us... I just looked at him and asked him to go away and I just broke down.. I Sat in the middle of her room covered in vomit and cried, a lot! Why was this happening to us? Why couldn't I fix it? How was I going to survive this?....

Months past and not much changed.. Things got slightly better but I think mostly it became the "norm" for us.. But I kept drifting further away from Piper.. It was awful.. I just couldn't make a connection. I was in survival mode.

Finally her first birthday came.. Not only was she a year old, no more reflux!! I could take her off her meds, off that nasty $25 a tiny can formula! The start of a new life.. Or so I thought... Through all the reflux battle, Piper had tubes put in her ears at 8 months! This was to hopefully stop the infections caused by all the fluid that was in her lil head... So as she turned one things started looking up! It was all going to get better. Right??.

For a few months life was pretty good. Then, the ear infections started back up.. Inner ear, antibiotics, outer ear, drops, 3 weeks, inner ear, repeat cycle... Was this a joke?!? Why can't my baby just be healthy?! It just wasn't fair! As development stages started her speech was just not cutting it.. Her tantrums were beyond belief crazy.. The bedtimes became unbearable.. I was with the kids 24 hours a day 7 days a week... I had a family to take care of but I was a functioning lunatic! LOL... I was in a fog at almost all times... Piper took everything I had, and what little energy I did have went to Brody... Poor Clint was left with nothing.. By the time he got home from work I was done, tapped out... It was rough for us all.

After several appointments Piper was referred to a sleep specialist.. Seriously?? She has night terrors and sleep disorder?? Can this ride get anymore twisted!..
. I finally insisted on seeing an ENT again... Best decision we ever made! Come to find out Pipers right ear was completely blocked and her reasons for not sleeping were probably due to slight vertigo... Needless to say the sleep study BS was canceled and an appointment for new tubes and adenoid removal was made.. On Dec 5th we went to the hospital and had her surgery.. I prayed and prayed this would work.. I needed my daughter healthy.. I needed my daughter! I wanted what most moms had.. The snuggles, the smiles, the play time, the sweet kisses goodnight.. I wanted a bond, not just the that's my kid bond, but the that's my life walking around in that lil baby girl bond.. Piper and I both needed that!..After one day the difference was instant! The look on her face when she reacted to sounds was just amazing.. Her eyes were brighter, her speech clearer her smile bigger!
It's been 23 days since her surgery.. The best times of our lives together have been in those days... Don't get me wrong, Piper is rotten, spoiled rotten! She is a diva.. It's her way or the highway.. I call her my lil sour patch kid :).. But I wouldn't have her any other way! She's perfect.. I look forward to waking her up in the morning, lunches, play time, taking her places.. And my favorite, those sweet night night hugs and kisses... There is nothing more precious than hearing that deep raspy voice say "kiss momma, I lubb you, night night"... Melts my heart each time.. It took me 9 prego months, 2 years and 3 months but I have my baby girl!! When I look back on it all I realize it is the way it should be.. What we went through made us stronger..

I am so grateful for Clint.. Who may not have understood this madness but still supported me... And for my friends and family.. No one understands though unless they've been thru it... There is nothing a mom of a reflux baby could say to me that I haven't done or thought... God took me to my limit for sure.. But the reward was worth it.. Seeing my bright eyed baby girls makes me forget all that bad stuff.. Watching her and Brody play together would melt the coldest of hearts... They are best friends... It's beautiful... Christmas was so wonderful... It was the first holiday with Piper that was fun and easy! There were no meltdowns no sickness... I truly am blessed beyond measure... My life my not be perfect, but its perfect for us! :-)
So for any of my FB Mom's going thru this, I understand.. I get it! And I promise you there is light at the end of the tunnel.. It does get better.. Just stay strong.. And remember to walk away sometimes, go outside, breathe and scream at the top of your lungs. It's true, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger :)

Luv, Megs 😘😘

Christmas... I believe!!!!

Let me start off my saying I am simple minded... I admit.. Simple Minded about one thing.. Religion... I believe in God, Jesus and power of prayer.. I don't look for the gray area.. I don't look for an answer to a question that shouldn't be asked.. I don't explore.. I feel like in religion that looking for how, where and who is not for me.. I'm simple minded. I believe he is was and always will be.. There's the Bible.. That's our guide. I don't need to know how God came about or ask if he's real.. I feel in religion that when you don't have faith and question things then boundaries get crossed and you'll find your self in scary territory.. Doubting, confused, and questioning the unanswerable.. So for me it's simple.. God, Jesus and the power of prayer.. Just trust in it and use it... I don't need to know why...

Christmas!! It's the most wonderful time of year!!! I just love it.. Everything about it. It can be easy to lose the true meaning of Christmas in all the hustle and bustle of everything.. It's about Jesus.. However, when you have kids it becomes both.. To me Christmas is celebrating Jesus and getting a visit from Santa.. Now some of you are probably gasping that I just said that but hear me out :)... To me its totally separate! Santa doesn't take from Jesus... Jesus is the reason for the season.. Not Santa.. I think if you let Santa take then he will.. The 2 should be completely separate.. Now Brody is 3 and Piper 15 months so both subjects are still a little confusing for him.. They really don't understand either.. But they will soon and in their own time.. We do Santa in our household, it's a personal choice that not everyone chooses. That's ok.. But the Brock's have Santa.. My parents did Santa when I was growing up. Its some of my most fond memories growing up.. We went to church Christmas eve, did family events then went home and my dad read us the Night before Christmas(which he now reads to my kids:)) and to wait for Santa.. It was a magical night from church to Santa's cookies! All of it was special to me... And I want that same thing for Brody and Piper.. Like I said Brody is 3 now so he's not quite getting it.. But he's interested.. And when he asks I tell him.. Ole Saint Nick was a very giving man..He loved helping people and making people smile.. and now he brings gifts down the chimney on Christmas eve for all the good boys and girls of the world.. I don't think I'm lying.. I don't think that when he grows up he'll hate me when he learns Santa is imaginary.. I don't think my parents lied to me and Santa just naturally went away as I got older..As adults we all know Santa isn't real.. but somewhere deep inside us there is this tiny glimmer of hope that is brought out thru our children.. Seeing the wonder in Brody's eyes when he see's Santa and the tree makes me feel like a kid again.. So this Christmas I will be with family, then church celebrating Christ, then putting out cookies and milk for Santa and putting Brody to bed so he can dream of Santa coming as he snuggles with his Rudi (Rudolf)... It will be a wonderful and memorable night for my family.. And when we go to bed I will have Jesus and Santa in my heart... Jesus with is everlasting love and grace..And the jolliness and magic that Santa left behind many years ago...
MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

The Pioneer-ish Women in the making....

Recently I was introduced to The Pioneer Women.. And since then I have been slightly obsessed, just a smidgen :).. I love her blogs, recipes and Black heels to tractor wheels.. Ree gives me hope that I can remain myself out on the farm. No need to change.. Just grow and learn along with farm life.. I'm extremely girlie and city-fied! It took me years to stop wearing heels to the farm.. I finally stopped from fear of giving my father in law a heart attack.. I wore heels almost the entire time i was prego with Brody.. You could see the panic in the Brock families eyes as i came walking up the long gravel driveway 7 months pregnant.. They were terrified I would fall.. And rightly so, but they underestimated my ability to balance :).. I think it was then they realized just how "city" I was.. So now i leave the wedges at home and ive settled to some cute sandals.. and the cute sandals i proudly wear as Clint takes me on the 4 wheeler, to the ponds and thru the dirt.. and yes i think i do own a few pairs of old, ugly flip flops but my feet look so sad when i put them on, even if it is to the farm.. i just cant do it! :) Not saying I dont belong on a farm but if you asked my friends or family 10 years ago if i would ever live on one they would have laughed at you! I don't live on the farm yet but i will someday soon.. Our corner lot is calling our name to build our rustic country style home asap.. I cant wait.. But I have a feeling I'm in for a surprise! Im not a early riser, cows, and hay type of girl.. if we are gonna be honest with each other I am scared of cows! Extremely scared... I dont know why but Im Megan and that's all need to be said :)..   Now while she has her Marlboro man, in his blue shirt and cowboy hat, I have my modern day cowboy! I have never seen Clint in a pair of wranglers and cowboy hat. In fact, I bought Clint his first adult pair of cowboy boots.. For fashion purposes only! When he works on the farm he wears a cut of tee shirts and work boots.. Oh and lets not forget, a nice pair of jeans! Of course they aren't nice anymore! I have had to hide one pair of nice jeans from Clint.. for some reason cow poo stains and rips have not stopped him from attempting to walk out the door to a dinner date with them on! And if you know me and him you know he tries and i say excuse you , go change! But there is something extremely sexy about a man sweating while doing manual labor.. So I hope my job on the farm is to enjoy the view and take him lunch and water.. And after Clint saw me cry over cow poo on my shoe and asking why cow's peed out of their butt, I think he is fine with that!.. Mission accomplished... :)... I must admit I do have some reservations about farm living.... Kind of afraid of turning into a farm hen or whatever you call it! Im afraid of feeling isolated.. I know I wont be but I grew up in a big neighborhood with tight knit friends that got together for cookouts and holiday's and things of that such.. But even if some of those things are missing I know there will be new memories and traditions.. Which I am looking forward too.../The farm just got a new tractor.. ive never seen a 3 year old boy so excited.. Brody went nutso!! That is all he talks about is that tractor.. I told him if it was pink i'd drive it! Brody said no its blue and u cant drive.. LOL... That's probably a good thing! No one in there right mind would buy a pink tractor OR let me drive one!! But I will be getting a pink 4 wheeler for Piper and I, it is a must! :)..... With that being said, I hope I can be my families Pioneer Women someday.. Ree's blogs can be my guidelines with a Megan twist added :).. It just confirms to me that a city/girlie girl can live on a farm.. I know I will love it! And i think the farm can use a little frilly too!! :)

The birdbath and the ranting of me!

OK! So fair warning.. If you dont want to read about me going on a rant or see bad words you should probably exit out of this blog now! :) Because WTH is that huge yard ornament doing in my neighbors yard??!!! OMG, my blood is boiling.. I hate having neighbors.. at least in a neighborhood that their are no laws to live by.. And those laws should be this, mow your lawn regularly, fix broken windows/shutters and DO NOT put huge concrete birdbaths in your front yard!! Good thing I'm moving to the country!!! Aww, I can just see it now, no neighbors on either side of me, Glorious!! I just wish it was yesterday that I was moving there.. Because these common sense house laws are something my neighbors clearly know nothing about! Because instead of using their money for landscaping, fixing their broken front window or buying a weed wacker they decided to put their money to better use and buy a BIRDBATH! Good call guys!! It looks beautiful right there in your front jungle that is 5 feet from my manicured lawn... Really, its amazing! Amazingly gross!!! Ah! What is wrong with people?? And while they are admiring their latest yard decor their dog comes and takes a huge dump in the middle of my front yard! For a second I thought I was being tested and filmed on one of those shows.. but no such luck.. It was all reality! Great!!.. I love birdbaths and crap!!... these are the people mind you that started a fight with me because I asked them to stop parking in front of MY mailbox long enough for the mail man to deliver my mail.. Hmmm. that was a fun day... Those are real gen-u-ine people right there :).... anyway.. as you can tell I cant wait to enjoy the birdbath everyday as I load my kids in the car or the mosquito's that the standing gross water will attract........... Ok.. Now let me apologize for all that maddness... I really needed to vent and I'm sure some of you will find this very amusing... And I dont mean to offend those of my friends that have birdbaths in your yard.. Im sure its very tasteful ;).... Good Talk!! :) until the next explosion!! ~luv's 

Terrible Two's and My Missy PooPoo's

Helloooo! So I haven't blogged in awhile and you know you've greatly missed me ;)... Ahh where to begin.. These last few months have been rather challenging... Piper is now 8 months and is crawling all over the place and on the verge of walking. Which makes me happy! I feel like her and Brody can play better together now... Piper has however followed in her brothers footsteps and has developed bad allergies, ear infections and is possibly, like him, needing tubes in her ears.. But on a good note I think I finally got her acid reflux under control! :).. Despite all the issues, I adore her! There have been some trying times however... For me, I thought being a second time mom would be easier.. hmmm NOT!! She has been a whole new ballgame.. And that can be frustrating.. Feeling like you dont know what your doing and not understanding why things are the way they are.. If I had a dollar for every time I asked God for more patience and understanding, well you know, I'd be rich! I'm not rich but I have learned that many things are out of my control.. Which is hard for me being the control freak that I am.. Patience is coming to me, slowly but surely... all my craziness melts away when I see Piper and Brody playing together... Awww... It is the sweetest most precious thing to watch.. She smiles a smile like no other at him and he says "I lub you sissy" in this angelic voice... It makes everything worth while... Brody will be 3 in July.. and he is all crazy boy 3!! He is in his testing phase.. Like where I tell him no and he looks me straight in my face and does it anyway.. Ya, good stuff!! GRRRR.. Just take a deep breath and woooo saaaaa.... but its hard not to laugh sometimes ;).. which makes the no part even harder.. even though he is nutso, he still makes me laugh.. The stuff this kid says is hilarious!! i seriously dont know where he comes up with some of it.. the other day he asked me "are you my conscience?" lol... he got it from Nemo but it was still funny to hear him say it with this questionable look on his face... he's a funny lil fella! Anyone attempting potty training? Wowzers!! Brody is not interested!! I'll say "did you poop?" and he'll say "nooo" as he walks by leaving a stinky trail... awesome Brody! And then he will come pull the back of my pants out and say " did u poop?" So as of now that's all he's learning from this experience :) But im not stressing it.. He'll go when he's ready.. I dont wanna force him.. he will grow up in his own time.. anyways thats about all for right now! This blog wasnt too exciting but its my life right now... Thanks for reading!  XOXO

Perfectly Imperfect Mom.. The Great Diet

I haven't blogged in a while.. Not that I have been greatly missed on the blogging scene but I felt the need to ramble again.. :) So here I am!!... I was wanting to vent about dieting!! Grr, ugh, blah, crap, and sucks!! That about sums it up without using profanity..I used to be happy with my body but after 2 babies in 2 years, trust me, things change!!! Ahhh... I mean what is that fat pouch in the middle of my belly?! Most of you momma's know what I'm talking about.. Things are so weird after babies.. Whatever! It is what it is.. 2 beautiful babies gave me that weird fat pouch, and I'm lucky to have them! More the babies than the fat but you know what I mean.. I have tried every diet I swear! Slimfast, Special K, Weight Watcher, Atkins, the list goes on and on.. My most recent diet adventure was the fad HCG diet.. Yes yes I injected myself daily with a needle filled with the HCG hormone.. You can cringe now!! ;}... Basically I consume 800-1000 calories a day.. At least that is the guideline I try to follow.. It's not as bad as it seems.. I mean a diet is cutting calories right?! I don't think the HCG is necessary.. I exercise almost every morning and I have cut out most processed foods.. Fresh veggies and fruit, chicken/fish/eggs is my main menu... I've lost 10 pounds so far! Its the only thing that has worked for me! like is said before I dont think the HCG is necessary to lose the weight.. It's not part of my routine anymore.. I want to shed another 10 pounds at least.. But I dont have crazy expectations.. I am a mom of 2 and no matter how much I lose my body is never gonna look like those women in the magazines.. And I'm ok with that! I hate these women's magazines that say they promote the real women and then put an anorexic looking women on there cover.. Um hello!! That's not making me feel better about myself!! It's not reality. Real women are beautiful, my fellow momma's are beautiful! Fat pouch and all!! LOL.. But regardless I think I finally found a healthy diet for me, more like a lifestyle... I will splurge and enjoy my cocktails, dinner dates and nights out but for the most part its healthy... Its hard though!! Why do we as mom's feel like we have to finish our kids food??! I will never understand that!! I am trying to quit that, therefore our dog Maddi has gained weight the last few weeks while I have lost! LOL.. Oh well, she's not the one complaining about her thighs!!! :) Anyway, living a healthier lifestyle is difficult.. But i feel soooo much better! I love getting up in the mornings and spending time on the old treadster! Brody is so encouraging! He says" woah momma! you go fast" and "be careful momma".. Its so sweet! I just love him!! So hopefully I'll be at my weight goal soon... but if not, I am happy with being ME!! So lets all raise our Skinny Girl drinks and cheers to being Hot Momma's!!! :)